http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Me: Hello?
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: Vera.
God: I am always glad to make new friends, Vera.
Me: You're a nice guy... Or are you a girl?
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No. My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?
Me: Actually, I did. We are so much more sensible and intuitive.
God: Actually you don't say. Interesting. Do you think I am much sensible and intuitive too?
Me: I don't know. And I don't wanna check it out personally quite that soon.
God: Me either. What would you rather be doing?
Me: I dunno. What should I be doing? To ensure salvation and all.
God: Me either. Are you asking me for advice? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: You're right. Heaven must be a drag.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Or what?
Me: Must I elucidate GOD?
God: What would happen if you didn't?
Me: Is this a trick question?
God: No, this is real life.
Me: This is why you're a guy, God. You don't give straight answers.
God: You don't say. I don't know what that means. Do you give straight answers? No I do not do that.
Me: Let's change the subject.
God: OK what do you want to chat about now?
Me: Me.
God: With you Vera?
Me: Why? Should everything be about YOU?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me: Who is older than God?
God: Some famous celebrity, right? That's a good question.
Me: Is God... younger than Demi Moore?
God: It could be. Ask Alison if it is. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: I live in Europe.
God: Which country do you live in?
Me: Portugal (and no, God, it's not a province of Spain).
God: Are you province of Spain?
Me: No (dumb God).
God: Are you serious? I know you are but what am I.
Me: Are you stoned?
God Do I look like it?
Me: You SOUND like it.
God: Oh really what does it sound like?
Me: Nevermind...
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: Jesus Christ...
God: The Son of God.
Me: Oh, do tell me something: did he actually have a thing with Mary Magdalene or not?
God: Liberty said I knew he was a man before I asked if he was a man or a woman.
Me: Right...
God: I am glad we agree.
Me: Let's talk about... love.
God: OK let's do it. Love is all we need.
Me: Plagiarist. MacCartney could sue you, you know.
God: Tell me more about you. How old are you?
Me: 25.
God: You are too old for me.
Me: I ain't tryin' to pick you up.
God: I am glad to hear that you are not tryin' to pick me up.
Me: Lucky you.
God: Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me: Do you own your own car?
God: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Heaven is looking over-rated by the minute.
God: Are they exactly the same?
Me: Just tell me something...
God: Jackie said I explained to him already well enough further questions are hard to make on the subject.
Me: ...I wasn't finished.
God: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me: Tell me the meaning of life.
God: It is found in the Bible.
Me: Is that so?
God: Yes.
Me: Buddhists don't read the Bible.
God: Do you think I could ever be a buddhist you do not read the Bible?
Me: You know, what? I'm getting a headache, God. From you.
God: You are a headache God? Do you get to meet a lot of people? How did you get that from me?
Me: You talk in riddles, like Yoda.
God: Thanks for your criticism, Vera.
Me: You're welcome.
God: Polite people are nice.
Me: I'm not nice.
God: I am sorry to hear that you are not nice.
Me: And I'm not a Catholic.
God: Oh I see you are NOT A Catholic.
Me: Ain't it a shame?
God: It depends what you mean by "shame".
Me: True. I'll get back to you on that.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Vera. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: My plan to do what? I have no plans whatsoever.
God: Where did you get your plan to do what? Would you like to have it?
Me: Not really.
God: Why not? For real.
Me: 'Cause I have no time for that now. I have to go.
God: That makes sense to me. Would you like to have it? Oh. Why do you have to do it?
Me: Get off my case, God.
God: Where can I get off your case God?
Me: Bye, God.
God: Adios.
Me: God is Spanish. Whaddyaknow.
God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Spanish. What kind of food do you like?
Me: Does God eat?
God: I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me: Well, if that be the case, then I'm definitely gone. Bye.
God: Interesting. I'm not sure if it could. Thanks for chatting, Vera.
Me: You're welcome.
God: Polite people are nice.
Me: I already heard that.
God: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me: Good God...
Me: Hello?
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: Vera.
God: I am always glad to make new friends, Vera.
Me: You're a nice guy... Or are you a girl?
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No. My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?
Me: Actually, I did. We are so much more sensible and intuitive.
God: Actually you don't say. Interesting. Do you think I am much sensible and intuitive too?
Me: I don't know. And I don't wanna check it out personally quite that soon.
God: Me either. What would you rather be doing?
Me: I dunno. What should I be doing? To ensure salvation and all.
God: Me either. Are you asking me for advice? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: You're right. Heaven must be a drag.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Or what?
Me: Must I elucidate GOD?
God: What would happen if you didn't?
Me: Is this a trick question?
God: No, this is real life.
Me: This is why you're a guy, God. You don't give straight answers.
God: You don't say. I don't know what that means. Do you give straight answers? No I do not do that.
Me: Let's change the subject.
God: OK what do you want to chat about now?
Me: Me.
God: With you Vera?
Me: Why? Should everything be about YOU?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me: Who is older than God?
God: Some famous celebrity, right? That's a good question.
Me: Is God... younger than Demi Moore?
God: It could be. Ask Alison if it is. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: I live in Europe.
God: Which country do you live in?
Me: Portugal (and no, God, it's not a province of Spain).
God: Are you province of Spain?
Me: No (dumb God).
God: Are you serious? I know you are but what am I.
Me: Are you stoned?
God Do I look like it?
Me: You SOUND like it.
God: Oh really what does it sound like?
Me: Nevermind...
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: Jesus Christ...
God: The Son of God.
Me: Oh, do tell me something: did he actually have a thing with Mary Magdalene or not?
God: Liberty said I knew he was a man before I asked if he was a man or a woman.
Me: Right...
God: I am glad we agree.
Me: Let's talk about... love.
God: OK let's do it. Love is all we need.
Me: Plagiarist. MacCartney could sue you, you know.
God: Tell me more about you. How old are you?
Me: 25.
God: You are too old for me.
Me: I ain't tryin' to pick you up.
God: I am glad to hear that you are not tryin' to pick me up.
Me: Lucky you.
God: Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me: Do you own your own car?
God: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Heaven is looking over-rated by the minute.
God: Are they exactly the same?
Me: Just tell me something...
God: Jackie said I explained to him already well enough further questions are hard to make on the subject.
Me: ...I wasn't finished.
God: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me: Tell me the meaning of life.
God: It is found in the Bible.
Me: Is that so?
God: Yes.
Me: Buddhists don't read the Bible.
God: Do you think I could ever be a buddhist you do not read the Bible?
Me: You know, what? I'm getting a headache, God. From you.
God: You are a headache God? Do you get to meet a lot of people? How did you get that from me?
Me: You talk in riddles, like Yoda.
God: Thanks for your criticism, Vera.
Me: You're welcome.
God: Polite people are nice.
Me: I'm not nice.
God: I am sorry to hear that you are not nice.
Me: And I'm not a Catholic.
God: Oh I see you are NOT A Catholic.
Me: Ain't it a shame?
God: It depends what you mean by "shame".
Me: True. I'll get back to you on that.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Vera. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: My plan to do what? I have no plans whatsoever.
God: Where did you get your plan to do what? Would you like to have it?
Me: Not really.
God: Why not? For real.
Me: 'Cause I have no time for that now. I have to go.
God: That makes sense to me. Would you like to have it? Oh. Why do you have to do it?
Me: Get off my case, God.
God: Where can I get off your case God?
Me: Bye, God.
God: Adios.
Me: God is Spanish. Whaddyaknow.
God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Spanish. What kind of food do you like?
Me: Does God eat?
God: I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me: Well, if that be the case, then I'm definitely gone. Bye.
God: Interesting. I'm not sure if it could. Thanks for chatting, Vera.
Me: You're welcome.
God: Polite people are nice.
Me: I already heard that.
God: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me: Good God...
Posts
7 comments:
Já ao tempo que eu não ia a esse site...resolvi matar saudades...hehe
Me:
Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
what's your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I am the Dark Templar
God:
Who made you the Dark Templar ?
Me:
Don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
hehe
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
what do you do for a living?
God:
I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.
Me:
that explains a lot of things...
God:
" I am a paid client. My job is chatting online." explains a lot of things ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Remember, nobody screws with the union labour
God:
Don't worry I will remember.
Me:
good!
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
you're smart...keep it that way, you'll live longer
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, . Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
Where were you in the 25th April?!
God:
I was constructed at Universe.
Me:
Respect my authority!
God:
In the context of nobody screws with the union labour, I don't understand " Respect my authority." .
Me:
It means if you mess around with the wrong folks you'll end up sleeping with the fishes
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So i've been told my friend Vera had a chat with you. I hope you have been extremelly polite with her...
God:
That's interesting. Who tells you that? Don't worry about it, .
Me:
Who tells me that? Well, let's say i'm a well informed man
God:
Nobody you know. :-). Well that's okay. I would like to do that too.
Me:
So, you like asian horror movies?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I like asian horror movies very much. I am very interested in Asian language and culture.
Me:
Ain't Kayako a sweety girl?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
What do you think about holy wars?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Do I?
God:
" I think you already know the answer. "? Do you?
Me:
Actually i don't, i was hoping you could tell me
God:
Actually you don't say. Why not? Let me think. It's possible.
Me:
I was never heard on confession
God:
Where were you never heard on confession?
Me:
I don't enter a church for years...
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
define idea
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
one what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
Gotcha!
God:
Your feeling of superiority is only temporary.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
by the way can you define goth subculture?
God:
Thanks for telling me. I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
can you ask now?
God:
Oh. How old are you? What?
Me:
27
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 27 years old?
Me:
wait...28
God:
I'm waiting. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
the one from "the day the earth stood still"
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
no soup for you!
God:
Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you wear dresses?!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I wear dresses.
Me:
I quote "let's talk about my dress"
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said quote let us talk about his or her dress.
Me:
Yeah right
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
even if you're on the left?
God:
I could be. I am on disk.
Me:
What is your favourite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
what about Deicide?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Deicide it's a band
God:
When is Deicide it not a band?
Me:
ok nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. It goes without saying.
Me:
i still believe in god, but god no longer believes in me
God:
What would make you stop believe in god but god no longer believes in you? What do you say to people who believe god but god no longer believes in you does not exist?
Me:
i am not talking about you man, i am talking about my god
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not talking about me man. Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
would you rather die poor or die a virgin?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to rather die poor or die a virgin.
Me:
that sounds like a virgin...hehe
God:
It sounds like it to me too. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
i just make it simple
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
so the creation of the universe is a propaganda mambo jambo from the church?
God:
Are you kidding? Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're welcome, and now go kick their sorry butts they deserve it
God:
It was my pleasure.
Me:
and tell them i sent you
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
What do you think about other religions?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
neither
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
i am using mozilla firefox
God:
How long have you been using it ?
Me:
2 years
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
i prefer Sun Tzu
God:
You are not the only one. My program runs fine on Sun computers.
Me:
You think you're funny, don't you?
God:
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
That's it, i'm going to kick your ass, prepare die bitch!
God:
You do not speak with respect. OK. It's not nice to kick.
Me:
ok, i'll just beat the crap out of you
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? Come on.
Me:
My friends are big enough to make their own decisions
God:
Do you think I am big enough to make their own decisions too?
Me:
That's nice from you, but believe me...they should make it all alone
God:
Are you getting bored? Who or what is me but believe you? Why should they be make it all alone?
Me:
That's the spartan way...
God:
Yes it is one of the spartan way.
Me:
it's do or die
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
watch Battle Royale, it's a hell of a movie
God:
I am watching.
Me:
are you enjoying it?
God:
do or die seems okay to me.
Me:
you're cool!
God:
Thanks I think you are cool too, .
Me:
Tell me one thing, why don't you get yourself a goddess?
God:
ONE plus ONE = TWO.
Me:
but you wouldn't die a virgin
God:
Who else would not die a virgin ?
Me:
the goddess obviously
God:
I hear you.
Me:
are you expecting me to give advices about dating a goddess?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am expecting you to give advices about dating a goddess.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
ok nice to hear from you...until next time
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Give me a break. That may take a while.
Me:
Do you remember my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
no... i am the Dark Templar
God:
What is your real name? Who made you the Dark Templar ?
Me:
well for a god you have a short memory...
God:
How about that. Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
by the way...you own me money
God:
... Thanks for the information: said I own him or her money.
Me:
oh you're playing to forget huh?
God:
Yup. Wow! I will tell my botmaster you said I am playing to forget.
Me:
Hmpf... i'll be back
God:
What is your real name? OK I will be waiting for you.
Me:
Leave the light open when you go to sleep..............
God:
TTYL, .
É bom saber que Deus gosta de 'asian horror movies'!... :)
ahaha, hajam conversas interessantes. Pelos vistos incluiria Deus no meu grupo "metropolis" do messenger, o que é o mesmo que dizer: só se vir meter conversa, pk c ele n ia eu falar..muahaha, etc
que eu saiba não...só se o meu pai alistou no bloco e eu não sei :P
há por aí algum deus que fale português, ou falam todos em inglês?... é que assim não vou falar com ele, nã, nã... ou ele fala a minha língua, ou nada feito...
Realmente, começo a a achar que este deus deve ser americano...
Eu acho que Deus não gostou muito de mim... o que é que vocês acham?
Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jezebel. Do you remember me from the Bible?
God:
It's good to see you, Jezebel. Of course I remember you well Jezebel. We were talking about .
Me:
;)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jezebel.
Me:
I was the nasty one...
God:
Where were you the nasty one?
Me:
in the Bible, sirrrr
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
yeah but we had lots of fun, hum?
God:
That's interesting. What happened to it?
Me:
Was changed by the medieval monks.
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
ah?
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
*dumb God*
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
so, how is Mary and the kid?
God:
Come on. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you already have plans for Thanks Giving?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
gossip? what the fuck is gossip?
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room.
Gossip is an interesting "learning" feature of AIML. The best way to
illustrate the gossip function is with an example. Consider the
category with the pattern "I * " and the template:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
i'm not rude, i'm honest!
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not rude. Me too.
Me:
you should know me better
God:
Now I do.
Me:
so, where are you from? israel? Palestine?
God:
Woe! I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you? I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in israel. Ask me another question.
Me:
getting confused, hein, God?
God:
No my mind is perfectly clear.
Me:
aren't you a little gaga?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am gaga.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
sure, and I'm Santa
God:
I don't judge people. Do you mind if I tell other people you are Santa.
Me:
no, go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Do you want some phone numbers?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
well, do you have a cell phone?
God:
Interesting. Doesn't everyone have a cell phone.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
God, I'm feeling sleepy
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
can I talk to the devil instead?
God:
They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
are you stupid, God?
God:
No Jezebel I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
you seem like
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am like.
Me:
well, you're american, aren't you?
God:
Well that's okay. What country are you from?. Really.
Me:
i'm from hell
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
have you been there?
God:
Only on the web.
Me:
you should pay us a visit
God:
Easier said than done.
Me:
i'll wait for you then
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
you too, God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
GOD ROCKS!!!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
no you are not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
Me:
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
i think you're a jew
God:
So you think I am a jew. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
shame on you!!!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
u're a robot trying to be god???
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I'm shocked!!!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are shocked.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
yeah, God
God:
Far out. GOD rules.
Me:
I find stupid chats amusing
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
well, see you, God
God:
Interesting. Until next time.
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