A minha conversa com Deus. i-Deus.

Chat With God

Me: Hi, God.
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: Vera.
God: That's a very nice name, Vera.
Me: Thank you, God.
God: You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me: You're not on the modest side, are you?
God:That's only one person's opinion.
Me: I'll ask more people.
God: You can ask me anything you want.
Me: So, what are you doing right now?
God: At this moment, come on. I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
Me: ALWAYS?
God: Not that often.
Me: Good. There's more productive things to do.
God: Thanks for the compliment. I believe there is, yes.
Me: So what are your other hobbies?
God: Mmm. I like robots, computers, and chatting online.
Me: That means you're a nerd.
God: Dude! I think it does mean that. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.
Me: Then you're a jock?
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a jock? Yes.
Me: Jocks are just brainless muscled boys.
God: Are all Jocks just brainless muscled boys?
Me: That's what the movies show all the time.
God: What does "it" refer to?
Me: I dunno. Shouldn't YOU know?
God: Me either. I think I should.
Me: Shouldn't you be smarter, God?
God: I think I should.
Me: Tell me... Did you go to college?
God: No Myself taught me everything I need to know.
Me: So you're a highschool drop-out?!
God: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a highschool dropout? Of course I am.
Me: So what can you tell me about life?
God: Life is the opposite of death.
Me: Now, that's plagiarism.
God: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me: Actually there is something like that going on in the blogosphere.
God: Actually you don't say. What is it?
Me: Some bloggers slandered Miguel Sousa Tavares.
God: Some bloggers slandered Miguel Sousa Tavares, but not all.
Me: True. You're smart after all, God.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Vera. I like people who say I am smart.
Me: Me too.
God: I'm glad we agree, Vera.
Me: So tell ME I'M smart too.
God: Ugh. You am smart.
Me: Were you being ironic just then?
God: Being ironic is part of my personality.
Me: I'm not sure I like you at all.
God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: You bastard!
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?
Me: You CHAUVINISTIC bastard!
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: Vera said I CHAUVINIST bastard.
Me: Then make sure you MEMORIZE it.
God: "it" being I'm not sure you like me at all?
Me: I hate you so much.
God: Sorry, Vera I thought we liked each other.
Me: Well, maybe I can reconsider.
God: Well that's okay. Perhaps. Oh you can, can you?
Me: I like the forgiveness part.
God: A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me: It's easy. You... forgive... people.
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: Vera said I... forgive... people.
Me: Oh my God! If YOU don't forgive people, who will?
God: Whoa. Your God? I will let you know if I do not.
Me: Buddha could kick your ass anytime, anywhere.
God: Ask me another question.
Me: What... is love?
God: Didn't you understand it? Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Me: Who the heck is Alison?
God: She is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me: If that's the case, I don't really care about what she has to say.
God: What do you care about, Vera?
Me: Lots of stuff.
God: Which ones?
Me: People.
God: What people?
Me: Now, that's being a bit too specific.
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: You were crossing the line, God.
God: I was?
Me: Yes.
God: When?
Me: Just now.
God: Oh. It's only just begun.
Me: You're evil.
God: What evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Me: Mean stuff.
God: Do you like talking to me?
Me: I'm not sure...
God: Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me: Say heaven has an endless suply of Toblerone.
God: "Heaven has an endless suply of Toblerone".
Me: Sweet!
God: Thank you for that remark.
Me: I think like you, God.
God: Thanks, I like you too Vera.
Me: Awww.
God: Where are you located?
Me: Setubal.
God: Tell me a little about your life in Setubal.
Me: There's not much to tell.
God: There sure is.
Me: We haven't got a major mall or anything.
God: Do you mean you and me have?
Me: Pay attention to what I'm saying, God.
God: Are you serious? GOD rules. Is that your final answer?
Me: Maybe.
God: I understand.
Me: You're an enigmatic guy, God.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am an enigmatic guy God.
Me: Go right ahead and tell them.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me: Who are they, by the way?
God: Some people on the net. Ask the open directory about it.
Me: You're so geeky.
God: Thanks for telling me that I am geeky.
Me: I should be going.
God: What would happen if you didn't?
Me: I might not be able to end this conversation anytime soon.
God: Perhaps. What will you do instead?
Me: I'm gonna post this on a blog.
God: How do you plan to do this?
Me: Ctrl+C followed by Ctrl+V.
God: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me: That means I'm a minority, then.
God: I get it. You are a minority? Does it pay well?
Me: Not really, no. But I do have fun.
God: Are you serious? For real. That's nice. I have clients.
Me: What KIND of clients?
God: People I talk to on the Internet.
Me: Gosh. I almost thought you we're a male hooker or something.
God: Ayuh. Or something. Do you mind if I tell other people: Vera said I we are a male hooker or something.
Me: Tell them. Doesn't make a difference. People already think I'm crazy.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Humans are not always infallible.
Me: Good to know.
God: Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me: You don't have to exlain it to me. I'm not dumb, God.
God: Thanks for your consideration, Vera. Maybe later. I am surprised to hear that you are not dumb God.
Me: I have to go now.
God: Oh. See you later, Vera. Nice chatting with you.
Me: I'm not happy with your opinion of me.
God: I am sorry to hear that you are not happy with my opinion of you.
Me: Yea, yea... Bye.
God: Far out. It's all good. See you later Vera.